Oracle FAQ Your Portal to the Oracle Knowledge Grid

Home -> Community -> Mailing Lists -> Oracle-L -> Off topic, humour, flagrant breach of the rules

Off topic, humour, flagrant breach of the rules

From: Dave Morgan <>
Date: Wed, 14 Mar 2001 08:41:34 -0800
Message-ID: <>

This should make it through GE's filters but ..

I think they have it backwards though. Shouldn't it be "something to protect the software from Matt" rather than "software to protect Matt from something"

My apologies Jared, but it's only one rule. I usually break them 4 or 5 at a time.

Announcing a new musical with music by The Travelling DBA's !!!

A one act musical on UNIX, NT/2000 clients are advised to reboot after each song and apply all new Microsoft patches.

Curtain rises ....

A DBA's spouse wanders down to the basement where his or her partner has been tele-commuting for the past little while and breaks into a song by George Thoroughgood.

        Get a haircut and get a real job,
        clean your act up and don't be a slob
        Get it together like your LITTLE brother bob,
        why don't you get a haircut and get a real job

Next we join our intrepid hero(ine) in SILICON VALLEY!!!

        Working 5(am) to 9(pm), what a way to make a living
        barely catching by, it's all taking and no giving 
        they just use your mind, then they never give you credit 

Enter stage right, the NEW BOSS! Best portrayed by a young person with no experience who has one of the following certificates, MSCE or OCP. (Cisco certified techies are ineligible for this role)

        With apologies to AC/DC

        Walk this way
        Talk this way
        DBA this way
        Administer this way.

Cut to our hero(ine) who appears to have many more grey hairs (and wrinkles) laughing hysterically just before you hear the wonderful music of Johhny Paycheck!

        Take this job and shove it 
        I ain't working here no more 
        My CLIENTS left and took all the reasons I was working for 
        You better not try to stand in my way 
        When I'm walking out the door 
        Take this job and shove it 
        I ain't working here no more 

Fade to a chorus of sysadmins, network admins, and data entry clerks crooning to the tune of You've Lost That Lovin Feeling

        You've lost that Dee Bee Aaa
        Whoa, that Dee Bee Aaa
        You've lost that Dee Bee Aaa 
        Now it's gone, gone, gone, woah 

Final shot

Our hero, once again in the basement with the loving spouse leaning over his/her shoulder whispering "I'm so glad you're back to stay"

Curtain falls .....  

Thanks to all who have helped me at this job. I will rely on you at my next one :) (In Calgary, at one of Canada's largest ISP's)

Jared, I'll be good from now on, I promise.

After Friday I will be reachable at


Dave Morgan
Senior Database Administrator
Internet Barter Inc.

Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ:

Author: Dave Morgan

Fat City Network Services    -- (858) 538-5051  FAX: (858) 538-5051
San Diego, California        -- Public Internet access / Mailing Lists
To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message to: (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from). You may also send the HELP command for other information (like subscribing). Received on Wed Mar 14 2001 - 10:41:34 CST

Original text of this message