Re: Save Your Computer!

Are these the Tools of the 1990's for Oracle DBA's?  

Britestar (Britestar, Inc.) wrote:
> four outlet surge/noise cube...Price: $69.95
I don't think we are quite at the stage where you can run a major Oracle installation on a PC-sized computer.

> Computer tool kit... Price $29.95.

Good idea. Why wait for your System Administrator to tune or upgrade that VAXCluster? Come on DBA's, roll up your sleeves and do it yourselves! Reminds me of the saying: "Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers".

> Voice activated telephone recorder...Special price $199.95.
Who needs all those nuisance support calls, when you can have a machine give out canned answers?

> Money Manager Software... Sale price: $24.99
Just the thing for planning that next software or hardware upgrade. Or else project how long it will take for welfare payments to catch up to the level of your frozen salary.

> GEO4000 Moving Message Color Sign,... Sale price $370.50 "Fresh Air"
This would be handy to put in front of your office to avoid repetitive questions. A good example message would be: "I know the database is down, I'm working on it, go away."

> "Bionaire" 2 speed personal air purifier/ionizer... $94.95
Good prop to put between you and a loud-mouthed user or boss. Now if it could only filter people's words and cut out the excess verbiage, then it would be really useful.

> "Cross" 18 Karat Gold Fountain Pen... Price $990.64.
A thousand bucks for a pen? Well, I suppose it's comparable to the price of official parts and accessories from a major manufacturer. This pen would probably go well with the expensive ink jet paper that Hewlett Packard sells. Received on Tue Jun 27 1995 - 00:00:00 CEST