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Home -> Community -> Mailing Lists -> Oracle-L -> RE: off topic --> RE: Work vs marriage
The whole thread has been very interesting and helpful, but Rachel this =
one
gave me goose bumps.
Thanks! :)
James
-----Original Message-----
From: Rachel Carmichael [mailto:carmichr_at_hotmail.com]
Sent: Thursday, June 01, 2000 7:04 PM
To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
Subject: Re: off topic --> RE: Work vs marriage
Well, I can only speak from personal experience here.
While Peter was alive, he often introduced me to people as "his wife" =
not=20
"Rachel".. as in "I'd like you to meet my wife".
I did not feel this indicated any sense of ownership or lack of =
attachment=20
(I knew how much he loved me).... but, and this is a big BUT, in our =
case,=20
his saying it that way was an indication of something I had given to =
him.
He was a hemophiliac, and considered permanently disabled and =
unemployable.=20
He never in his life expected or imagined that he would have a normal=20
life.... certainly he never thought that he would be married. So when =
he=20
introduced me as "his wife".... it was a matter of pride to him. And a =
gift=20
I had given him. There was so little I could give him, I never resented =
this
one.
How you refer to your spouse may indeed be an indication of your =
feelings=20
for him or her. But without knowing the entire story, an outsider can't =
judge.
Rachel
>From: "Boivin, Patrice J" <BoivinP_at_mar.dfo-mpo.gc.ca>
>Reply-To: ORACLE-L_at_fatcity.com
>To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L <ORACLE-L_at_fatcity.com>
>Subject: off topic --> RE: Work vs marriage
>Date: Thu, 01 Jun 2000 07:36:39 -0800
>
>I have a simple question:
>
>Why do some of you refer to your spouses as "the wife"?! It makes it =
sound
>like you don't feel any attachment to her at all.
>
>Also, why was it "the wife's flowers"? Don't you live in that house =
too?
>
>Just curious, sometimes I wonder why people get married in the first =
place.
>Peer pressure maybe? Maybe some men and women get married because =
they=20
>want
>to fit in, not because they really care about each other for the long =
term.
>Never mind the vows...
>
>Nobody seems to have picked up on this.
>
>I am a man, and I never refer to my wife as "the wife." It is
>disrespectful.
>
>Regards,
>Patrice Boivin
>Systems Analyst (Oracle Certified DBA)
>
>Systems Admin & Operations | Admin. et Exploit. des syst=E8mes
>Technology Services | Services technologiques
>Informatics Branch | Direction de l'informatique
>Maritimes Region, DFO | R=E9gion des Maritimes, MPO
>
>E-Mail: boivinp_at_mar.dfo-mpo.gc.ca <mailto:boivinp_at_mar.dfo-mpo.gc.ca>
>
>Ph: (902) 426-4774
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Michael Kline [SMTP:maklinesr_at_home.com]
> Sent: Thursday, June 01, 2000 12:47 AM
> To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
> Subject: RE: Work vs marriage
>
> Been there myself, and can relate.
>
> When I was Operations Manager, I had to coordinate the move of the
>data center, keep everyone pretty much ignorant that we had even =
moved, and
>then provide the data side support of that move as the rest of the
>department, some 900+ people came to the new building. When they came =
to=20
>the
>new building, they put their terminal on the moved desk, plugged into =
the
>wall, and they were up and running.
>
> IBM said it was the smoothest move they had seen in 10 years, and we
>broke the system down at 12:00 noon on Friday and were up 4PM on =
Sunday,=20
>and
>only had about 32-64 users out of 255+ that had to wait till Monday
>afternoon to connect(bell tel had two bad lines). I had over 1,000 =
hours of
>over time that year... Of course the state didn't pay, UNTIL they =
realized
>my taking "comp time" which I WAS entitled to would be almost 6 =
months.=20
>Then
>they paid me. Was nice for that year, but needless to say a strain on =
the
>family. But receiving 1/2 years wage as a bonus was a pretty nice =
"gift"..
>
> Now if I have an 60-80 hour week, which is very rare, management
>knows in advance I'll be taking an appropriate time off next week, or
>they'll owe my wife a very expensive dinner, or in one case a paid =
weekend
>in Colonial Williamsburg with car, hotel, and tickets to the events,=20
>etc....
>Fair is fair.
>
> I'm down to about 45-55 hours a week, but it pays well, and I'm DBA
>for about 8-12 companies, 1 to 50 gig. "No database surprises" and =
that's
>what they want. I work almost exclusively from home now, cable modem, =
3
>phone lines, 5 computers. That's quite a change and it took a lot of=20
>getting
>used to. Flex schedules that if I have to pull data at 6PM, I may take =
a 2
>hour lunch, things like that. (I took a hour plus break during this =
note to
>host a visit from my twins.... they popped in to visit.)
>
> Maks
> Tech Consultant
> maklinesr_at_home.com <mailto:maklinesr_at_home.com>
>
>--
>Author: Boivin, Patrice J
> INET: BoivinP_at_mar.dfo-mpo.gc.ca
>
>Fat City Network Services -- (858) 538-5051 FAX: (858) 538-5051
>San Diego, California -- Public Internet access / Mailing Lists
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--=20
Author: Rachel Carmichael
INET: carmichr_at_hotmail.com
Fat City Network Services -- (858) 538-5051 FAX: (858) 538-5051 San Diego, California -- Public Internet access / Mailing Lists --------------------------------------------------------------------To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message to: ListGuru_at_fatcity.com (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L Received on Fri Jun 02 2000 - 09:17:49 CDT
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