RE: off topic --> RE: Work vs marriage

this was/is my life.....

he died 7 years ago. the only regrets I have in my life are that I did not take more time off from work to be with him while he was alive.

Rachel

>From: James Bullard <jbullard_at_onvia.com>
>Reply-To: ORACLE-L_at_fatcity.com
>To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L <ORACLE-L_at_fatcity.com>
>Subject: RE: off topic --> RE: Work vs marriage
>Date: Fri, 02 Jun 2000 07:36:34 -0800
>
>The whole thread has been very interesting and helpful, but Rachel this one
>gave me goose bumps.
>
>Thanks! :)
>
>James
>
>-----Original Message-----
>Sent: Thursday, June 01, 2000 7:04 PM
>To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
>
>
>Well, I can only speak from personal experience here.
>
>While Peter was alive, he often introduced me to people as "his wife" not
>"Rachel".. as in "I'd like you to meet my wife".
>
>I did not feel this indicated any sense of ownership or lack of attachment
>(I knew how much he loved me).... but, and this is a big BUT, in our case,
>his saying it that way was an indication of something I had given to him.
>
>He was a hemophiliac, and considered permanently disabled and unemployable.
>He never in his life expected or imagined that he would have a normal
>life.... certainly he never thought that he would be married. So when he
>introduced me as "his wife".... it was a matter of pride to him. And a gift
>I had given him. There was so little I could give him, I never resented
>this
>
>one.
>
>How you refer to your spouse may indeed be an indication of your feelings
>for him or her. But without knowing the entire story, an outsider can't
>judge.
>
>Rachel
>
>
> >From: "Boivin, Patrice J" <BoivinP_at_mar.dfo-mpo.gc.ca>
> >Reply-To: ORACLE-L_at_fatcity.com
> >To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L <ORACLE-L_at_fatcity.com>
> >Subject: off topic --> RE: Work vs marriage
> >Date: Thu, 01 Jun 2000 07:36:39 -0800
> >
> >I have a simple question:
> >
> >Why do some of you refer to your spouses as "the wife"?! It makes it
>sound
> >like you don't feel any attachment to her at all.
> >
> >Also, why was it "the wife's flowers"? Don't you live in that house too?
> >
> >Just curious, sometimes I wonder why people get married in the first
>place.
> >Peer pressure maybe? Maybe some men and women get married because they
> >want
> >to fit in, not because they really care about each other for the long
>term.
> >Never mind the vows...
> >
> >Nobody seems to have picked up on this.
> >
> >I am a man, and I never refer to my wife as "the wife." It is
> >disrespectful.
> >
> >Regards,
> >Patrice Boivin
> >Systems Analyst (Oracle Certified DBA)
> >
> >Systems Admin & Operations | Admin. et Exploit. des systèmes
> >Technology Services | Services technologiques
> >Informatics Branch | Direction de l'informatique
> >Maritimes Region, DFO | Région des Maritimes, MPO
> >
> >E-Mail: boivinp_at_mar.dfo-mpo.gc.ca <mailto:boivinp_at_mar.dfo-mpo.gc.ca>
> >
> >Ph: (902) 426-4774
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Michael Kline [SMTP:maklinesr_at_home.com]
> > Sent: Thursday, June 01, 2000 12:47 AM
> > To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
> > Subject: RE: Work vs marriage
> >
> > Been there myself, and can relate.
> >
> > When I was Operations Manager, I had to coordinate the move of the
> >data center, keep everyone pretty much ignorant that we had even moved,
>and
> >then provide the data side support of that move as the rest of the
> >department, some 900+ people came to the new building. When they came to
> >the
> >new building, they put their terminal on the moved desk, plugged into the
> >wall, and they were up and running.
> >
> > IBM said it was the smoothest move they had seen in 10 years, and we
> >broke the system down at 12:00 noon on Friday and were up 4PM on Sunday,
> >and
> >only had about 32-64 users out of 255+ that had to wait till Monday
> >afternoon to connect(bell tel had two bad lines). I had over 1,000 hours
>of
> >over time that year... Of course the state didn't pay, UNTIL they
>realized
> >my taking "comp time" which I WAS entitled to would be almost 6 months.
> >Then
> >they paid me. Was nice for that year, but needless to say a strain on the
> >family. But receiving 1/2 years wage as a bonus was a pretty nice
>"gift"..
> >
> > Now if I have an 60-80 hour week, which is very rare, management
> >knows in advance I'll be taking an appropriate time off next week, or
> >they'll owe my wife a very expensive dinner, or in one case a paid
>weekend
> >in Colonial Williamsburg with car, hotel, and tickets to the events,
> >etc....
> >Fair is fair.
> >
> > I'm down to about 45-55 hours a week, but it pays well, and I'm DBA
> >for about 8-12 companies, 1 to 50 gig. "No database surprises" and that's
> >what they want. I work almost exclusively from home now, cable modem, 3
> >phone lines, 5 computers. That's quite a change and it took a lot of
> >getting
> >used to. Flex schedules that if I have to pull data at 6PM, I may take a
>2
> >hour lunch, things like that. (I took a hour plus break during this note
>to
> >host a visit from my twins.... they popped in to visit.)
> >
> > Maks
> > Tech Consultant
> > maklinesr_at_home.com <mailto:maklinesr_at_home.com>
> >
> >--
> >Author: Boivin, Patrice J
> > INET: BoivinP_at_mar.dfo-mpo.gc.ca
> >
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>--
>Author: Rachel Carmichael
> INET: carmichr_at_hotmail.com
>
>Fat City Network Services -- (858) 538-5051 FAX: (858) 538-5051
>San Diego, California -- Public Internet access / Mailing Lists
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>Author: James Bullard
> INET: jbullard_at_onvia.com
>
>Fat City Network Services -- (858) 538-5051 FAX: (858) 538-5051
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Received on Fri Jun 02 2000 - 11:18:31 CDT