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Home -> Community -> Usenet -> c.d.o.server -> Re: Oracle's is going to start selling gasoline...
Damn, that's funny. But I have the sense of humor of a 6 year old.
On Thu, 07 Sep 2000 15:50:07 GMT, chriss_at_enteract.com wrote:
>Oracle Announces Competitive Upgrade to GAS
>
>Oracle Corporation has announced a competitive upgrade to it's highly
>profitable GAS product with a new version GAS 1.2.9.3.43.5a (iGAS).
>iGAS will allow users to speed along on the Internet SuperHighway much
>faster than before.
>
>Also to be competitive with MS-GAS, Oracle has restructured their iGAS
>liscensing program. Customers will pay an initial higher priced
>liscense for the first tank, and then pay a much smaller amount for re-
>fills. The initial liscenses will be called First Auto Run Time's
>(FARTs).
>
>Oracle has set up a special website for users to purchase the cheaper
>re-fills online. However, if the users needs to FART they will be
>redirected elsewhere.
>
>In related news. Priceline.com looking to compete in the online GAS
>space has cut a massive FART deal with Oracle, where they will pass
>these FARTS onto their customers.
>
>
>
>
>In article <39B796FD.221E3973_at_edcmail.cr.usgs.gov>,
> Brian Peasland <peasland_at_edcmail.cr.usgs.gov> wrote:
>> You are also limited to MS-Transmission and MS-Tires (a clone of
>> Firestone's product line). Any attempt to use other competitors tires
or
>> transmissions will result in a violation of your warranty and produce
>> unlimited number of "Blue Dashboards of Death".
>>
>> LOL,
>> Brian
>>
>> Adrian Shepherd wrote:
>> >
>> > But only if your car is the later version of MS-Wrecks and no-one
else is in
>> > the car with you.
>> >
>> > <chriss_at_enteract.com> wrote in message
news:8p6cvd$hjl$1_at_nnrp1.deja.com...
>> > > Recent news, MS has just decided to enter the market with MS-GAS.
>> > >
>> > > They have seen the average family cannot afford $1,237.50 for a
tank of
>> > > gas. Therefore they will charge $618.75 flat flat rate and water
it
>> > > down with ethanol.
>> > >
>> > > In article <8p6c8h$gqv$1_at_nnrp1.deja.com>,
>> > > chriss_at_enteract.com wrote:
>> > > > Pricing of the gasoline will work as follows...
>> > > >
>> > > > First, determine how many galons your car needs.
>> > > >
>> > > > Determine the how fast you plan to drive your car. This is the
>> > > > MaxMPH. So for example lets say you will only be driving on
roads
that
>> > > > have 25MPH, then the MaxMPH is 25.
>> > > >
>> > > > Next, determine how many cylinders your car has. 4, 6, 8, or
12.
This
>> > > > is the Cyl.
>> > > >
>> > > > Next, estimate the number of drivers who will be using your
car. If
>> > > > you, your spouse, and two kids will be driving the car during
the
>> > > > lifetime of the Gas purchase, that is four users. If it will
be just
>> > > > use, then it is one user. This is Users. If you will be having
>> > > > passengers then you need to purchase the Universal Gas Liscense
(UGL)
>> > > >
>> > > > Next multiply these three factors together. MaxMPH x Cyl x
Users and
>> > > > this will give you the Gasoline Pricing Factor. Multiply this
number
>> > > > by $.05 for every gallon.
>> > > >
>> > > > If you require a UGL, multiply this by 5.
>> > > >
>> > > > Therefore, for a family of four, with 3 drivers (requiring a
GPL),
with
>> > > > a 6 cylinder car driving on the freeway (55MPH) in a car that
holds 15
>> > > > galons, the tank will cost $1,237.5
>> > > >
>> > > > Have a nice day.
>> > > >
>> > > > Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
>> > > > Before you buy.
>> > > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
>> > > Before you buy.
>>
>> --
>> ========================================
>> Brian Peasland
>> Raytheons Systems at
>> USGS EROS Data Center
>> These opinions are my own and do not
>> necessarily reflect the opinions of my
>> company!
>> ========================================
>>
>
>
>Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
>Before you buy.
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