Re: Oracle's is going to start selling gasoline...

Oracle Announces Competitive Upgrade to GAS

Oracle Corporation has announced a competitive upgrade to it's highly profitable GAS product with a new version GAS 1.2.9.3.43.5a (iGAS). iGAS will allow users to speed along on the Internet SuperHighway much faster than before.

Also to be competitive with MS-GAS, Oracle has restructured their iGAS liscensing program. Customers will pay an initial higher priced liscense for the first tank, and then pay a much smaller amount for refills.   The initial liscenses will be called First Auto Run Time's (FARTs).

Oracle has set up a special website for users to purchase the cheaper re-fills online. However, if the users needs to FART they will be redirected elsewhere.

In related news. Priceline.com looking to compete in the online GAS space has cut a massive FART deal with Oracle, where they will pass these FARTS onto their customers.

In article <39B796FD.221E3973_at_edcmail.cr.usgs.gov>,   Brian Peasland <peasland_at_edcmail.cr.usgs.gov> wrote:
> You are also limited to MS-Transmission and MS-Tires (a clone of
> Firestone's product line). Any attempt to use other competitors tires
 or
> transmissions will result in a violation of your warranty and produce
> unlimited number of "Blue Dashboards of Death".
>
> LOL,
> Brian
>
> Adrian Shepherd wrote:
> >
> > But only if your car is the later version of MS-Wrecks and no-one
 else is in
> > the car with you.
> >
> > <chriss_at_enteract.com> wrote in message
 news:8p6cvd$hjl$1_at_nnrp1.deja.com...
> > > Recent news, MS has just decided to enter the market with MS-GAS.
> > >
> > > They have seen the average family cannot afford $1,237.50 for a
 tank of
> > > gas. Therefore they will charge $618.75 flat flat rate and water
 it
> > > down with ethanol.
> > >
> > > In article <8p6c8h$gqv$1_at_nnrp1.deja.com>,
> > > chriss_at_enteract.com wrote:
> > > > Pricing of the gasoline will work as follows...
> > > >
> > > > First, determine how many galons your car needs.
> > > >
> > > > Determine the how fast you plan to drive your car. This is the
> > > > MaxMPH. So for example lets say you will only be driving on
 roads
 that
> > > > have 25MPH, then the MaxMPH is 25.
> > > >
> > > > Next, determine how many cylinders your car has. 4, 6, 8, or
 12.
 This
> > > > is the Cyl.
> > > >
> > > > Next, estimate the number of drivers who will be using your
 car. If
> > > > you, your spouse, and two kids will be driving the car during
 the
> > > > lifetime of the Gas purchase, that is four users. If it will
 be just
> > > > use, then it is one user. This is Users. If you will be having
> > > > passengers then you need to purchase the Universal Gas Liscense
 (UGL)
> > > >
> > > > Next multiply these three factors together. MaxMPH x Cyl x
 Users and
> > > > this will give you the Gasoline Pricing Factor. Multiply this
 number
> > > > by $.05 for every gallon.
> > > >
> > > > If you require a UGL, multiply this by 5.
> > > >
> > > > Therefore, for a family of four, with 3 drivers (requiring a
 GPL),
 with
> > > > a 6 cylinder car driving on the freeway (55MPH) in a car that
 holds 15
> > > > galons, the tank will cost $1,237.5
> > > >
> > > > Have a nice day.
> > > >
> > > > Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
> > > > Before you buy.
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
> > > Before you buy.
>
> --
> ========================================
> Brian Peasland
> Raytheons Systems at
> USGS EROS Data Center
> These opinions are my own and do not
> necessarily reflect the opinions of my
> company!
> ========================================
>

Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy. Received on Thu Sep 07 2000 - 10:50:07 CDT