Re: What's wrong with SQL Server?

From: Joel Garry <joel-garry_at_home.com>
Date: 18 Jun 2003 14:40:23 -0700
Message-ID: <91884734.0306181340.3e18d844@posting.google.com>

Brian Peasland <oracle_dba_at_remove_spam.peasland.com> wrote in message news:<3EF07970.7425F27_at_remove_spam.peasland.com>...
> > Q: How many Oracle DBAs to change a lightbulb?
> > A: It depends.
>
> New A1: RTFM. All of your answers are there...
> New A2: One, but the entire development team will screw up the process
> anyway.
> New A3: One-tenth. The other nine-tenths of the DBA are spent doing ten
> other processes at the same time.

Very old A4: None, it's a hardware problem.

New A5:  None, management requires a cost/benefit study.
New A6:  None, the DBA job description has been eliminated per Larry.
New A7:  None, O10 with Apps11i automatically notifies the supply

chain.
Old A8: None, you can't unscrew a former virgin. New A9: Three, a senior DBA to observe, a midlevel to throw rocks at the bulb, and a junior to clean up the broken glass, remove the orphaned socket and encapsulate a new filament in a package. Old A10: I dunno what they do, but I know I need one! Old A11: Due to a design misfeature, you must upgrade to allow the DBA to change a lightbulb.
New A12: A security flaw has been found in the java virtual machine, please immediately sign on to metalink to read the bulletin or you may lose DBA's via electrocution, as well as potentially all subsequent light bulbs.
New A13: None, they can't figure out how to pin a diaper. New A14: You need to take a class in Object-Relational design to learn how to increase productivity and ROI. Oracle Education will be presenting a class in your area on the following dates: <broken link> New A15: None, because he will be pondering "Whatever happened to plug-in cartridges, anyways?"

--
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Received on Wed Jun 18 2003 - 16:40:23 CDT