Path: dp-news.maxwell.syr.edu!spool.maxwell.syr.edu!drn.maxwell.syr.edu!news.maxwell.syr.edu!newsfeed.media.kyoto-u.ac.jp!newshub.sdsu.edu!news-hog.berkeley.edu!newsfeed.berkeley.edu!ucberkeley!sn-xit-02!sn-xit-01!sn-post-01!supernews.com!corp.supernews.com!not-for-mail From: DA Morgan Newsgroups: comp.databases.oracle.misc Subject: A bit of levity Date: Thu, 03 Mar 2005 16:51:42 -0800 Organization: Ye 'Ol Disorganized NNTPCache groupie Message-ID: <1109897313.185331@yasure> User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.7.2) Gecko/20040804 Netscape/7.2 (ax) X-Accept-Language: en-us, en MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii; format=flowed Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Cache-Post-Path: yasure!unknown@oracle.advtechserv.com X-Cache: nntpcache 2.4.0b5 (see http://www.nntpcache.org/) X-Complaints-To: abuse@supernews.com Lines: 69 Xref: dp-news.maxwell.syr.edu comp.databases.oracle.misc:116982 So if you want to bash me for being off topic have at it but I thought this worth sharing. But at least it is in c.d.o. marketplace and isn't spam. ====================================================================== Subject: News from HP Hewlett-Packard hires new CEO, press release PALO ALTO, CA. Hewlett-Packard (NYSE: HPQ) today announced that the Office of President, CEO and Chairman will be outsourced as of October 31, the end of the fiscal year. The move is being made to save $45 million in annual salary and benefits. Further savings in air travel are expected to add to HP's bottom line. "At the end of the day, the cost savings will be quite significant" says HP board member, Executive Vice President, and CFO Rob Highwayman, who, with the aid of HP's outsourcing arm, HP Services, has studied outsourcing extensively. "We simply can no longer afford this inefficiency and remain competitive in the world stage," Highwayman said. Sanji Gurvinder Singh, 23, of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India, will be assuming the Office of President, Chairman and CEO as of October 31. He will receive a salary of $320 USD a month with proportionate benefits. Mr. Singh will maintain his office in India and will be working primarily at night, due to the time difference between the US and India. "I am excited to serve in this position," Mr. Singh stated in an exclusive interview. "I always knew that my career at the HP call center would lead to great things." An HP spokesperson noted that Mr. Singh has extensive experience in public speaking and has been given Ms. Fiorina's script tree to enable him to answer any question without having to understand the issue. Ms. Fiorina, 49, has announced that she will join the faculty of the Stanford School of Business, specializing in medieval business and the related subject of employee motivation. No one at the Stanford School of Business was available for comment. The Hewlett-Packard board continues to explore other outsourcing possibilities including HP's more than 1,200 vice presidents. In an unrelated news item it was learned that HP was selling five corporate jets complete with passengers thought to be board members and HP executives. While the value of the content was not thought to be significant it is believed that their accumulated air-miles could be used to facilitate additional outsourcing initiatives. HP employees were in a somber mood after the announcement. Company announced that counselors will be available all week to help employees get through the difficult time. -- Daniel A. Morgan University of Washington damorgan@x.washington.edu (replace 'x' with 'u' to respond)