Re: DBA personality traits

Hmmm..... yes. I do have sympathy. When they're like that it's important to get to know them well. Do them favours and bite you tongue when you need to. Once you're on the right side of them they're usually really helpful. Don't get their backs up because if they want to, they can make you pay for a long time.

Interview questions for DBAs:

Q. Imagine I'm a developer and need to implement an important change that needs to go into production tonight. What would be your reply be?

1. Firstly reply as late as possible. If they haven't used the correct paperwork just ignore it. If they ring say 'where's the correct paper work' or, if they supplied paperwork then say 'you haven't filled it in correctly'. Always reply by email to slow the process down. Spot any errors at the last possible moment. Point out that requests have to come in before a certain time. Just because I'm doing nothing can not be used to your advantage. Point out to the developer whether they have considered the consequence of their actions and that it will probably (even hopefully) bring the machine to it's knees.
2. There is a problem with program falling over. The developers have checked out the program but believes it is something to do with the database. How do you help them.
3. Say 'it's not my problem'. If they don't accept this then asked them to put the problem in writing. Then twiddle your thumbs for a few hours and say it's nothing to do with the database. Have you checked your code. If they still thinks it's a problem then say you'll look at it towards the end of your week. Prioritize all your other work to put the problem at the bottom of your list. Hopefully it will go away.

  If you do have to help them, try to get hold of their code and look through it in front of them nodding and quietly going tut...tut....tut...Then fix the database without telling anyone.

Q. Your in a group of DBAs. What actions would you take as a group to raise your profile within the company.

     Always make notes of developers mistakes, create a top ten list and stick it on the wall.

     These will be used as the main topics of conversation for the day and a suitable source of humour.

    State that 'change' is a security risk and should only be done through a DBA.

     Make sure all DBAs know the correct etiquette:
        Always look as though your busy.
        Make sure anyone coming to see you waits for at least for five
minutes. Then say 'What you after'.
        Always complain that you have too much work.
        Point out other peoples mistakes in a loud voice.
        Always destroy any evidence that may prove you've made a mistake.

The above it just a bit of fun. No serious comments, please.

Diane wrote:

> Is it a requirement for being an Oracle DBA to be incredibly secretive
> and insular or have I just been unlucky in the ones I have met?
> --
> Diane
Received on Wed Feb 10 1999 - 11:19:40 CST