RE: RE: Duhvelopers and DB-ehs?

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size=2>AMEN!  This is G R E A T!!!!!!!!!!

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  size=2>-----Original Message-----From: Kevin Kostyszyn   [mailto:kevin_at_dulcian.com]Sent: Friday, August 31, 2001 5:20   PMTo: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-LSubject: RE:   RE: Duhvelopers and DB-ehs?
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  size=2>HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   

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    size=2>-----Original Message-----From: root_at_fatcity.com     [mailto:root_at_fatcity.com]On Behalf Of Jacques     KilchoerSent: Friday, August 31, 2001 4:20 PMTo:     Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-LSubject: OT: RE: Duhvelopers     and DB-ehs?
    I am in charge of 273 databases at sites throughout the     world, some of them in places with no electricity     where we have an elephant on a treadmill supplying     power. I personally had to once step in for the elephant when he     was feeling under the weather.
    All of these databases are 26 x 8, meaning 26 hours a day     eight days a week since we have to deal with the     additional day caused by the international date     line, and two extra hours because of some places have weird time     zones. On certain days the International Time     committee adds a leap second to the day which means     that on those days I have to work an extra second * 273 <FONT     size=2>databases which adds up to several minutes.     On 19 of those databases, due to the lack of funds for     storage, I have to do a backup to paper, i.e. I have     to manually read every table through select <FONT     size=2>statements and write them down on paper using a broken pencil.     

    We are planning on sending a few databases out onto     satellites, one of them on a probe to Neptune. I     will also be in charge of the backup/uptime for <FONT     size=2>those mission-critical systems, since they will be used as the     back-end for a website that receives thousands of     hits per minute (a Britney Spears fan club site).     I am the only human DBA. We have three helper monkeys at     remote locations but they are currently on     strike.
    I have to run off now because the coffee machine is broken     and no one is here to fix it except me. I had to     carve my own coffe cup out of wood because I can't afford ceramic.      Received on Fri Aug 31 2001 - 16:32:32 CDT