RE: RE: UNCUT ORACLE-L The Motion Picture

naw.
just a cry for help.

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  size=2>-----Original Message-----From: Kevin Kostyszyn   [mailto:kevin_at_dulcian.com]Sent: Tuesday, August 14, 2001 1:32   PMTo: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-LSubject: RE:   RE: UNCUT ORACLE-L The Motion Picture
  That
  was too funny and too creative!:)
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  size=2>KK   

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    size=2>-----Original Message-----From: root_at_fatcity.com     [mailto:root_at_fatcity.com]On Behalf Of Mohan, RossSent:     Tuesday, August 14, 2001 12:45 PMTo: Multiple recipients of list     ORACLE-LSubject: RE: RE: UNCUT ORACLE-L The Motion     Picture
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    size=2>btw, Can I meet this "rouge" college intern before Lisa machetes     her?
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    <FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff
    size=2><EG>
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    I
    want to justify the NC-17 rating.
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    -
    Hannibal     

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      size=2>-----Original Message-----From: Bowes, Chris 
      [mailto:Chris.Bowes_at_kosa.com]Sent: Tuesday, August 14, 2001 
      10:47 AMTo: Multiple recipients of list 
      ORACLE-LSubject: OT: RE: UNCUT ORACLE-L The Motion 
      Picture
      UNCUT ORACLE-L <FONT 
      size=2>---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
      
      Coming to theaters near you.   Oracle-L, the 
      UNCUT version is rated NC-17. 
      Directed by Bruce. Produced by 
      Jared Still. 
      Starring: 
      Lisa Koivu.  Watch as she machetes a user who left 
      his userid and password on a post-it on his PC allowing a rouge college 
      intern to hack the system and destroy data.


      /Clip Lisa: "YOU'VE USED THAT 

      PASSWORD FOR THE LAST TIME MISTER!!!!",  User: 
      "NOooooooooooooo!"  Hack hack slice slice  Lisa: "Now where's 
      that intern..."


      /Clip 

      Ross Mohan as her feisty sidekick. (envision Joe 
      Pesci) /Clip "Nice Cutting 
      Lisa.  So l-user, is it funny now?  Does she make you 
      laugh?  Like a clown?  Looks like we'll have to rewrite that 
      song.  'The ankle bone's connected to the spinal cord...'"


      /Clip 

      Rachel Carmichel, as the goddess of manager destruction. 
      Watch as she stuffs a chair down the throat of a manager for his really 
      stupid ideas.


      /Clip Manager:  "But Rachel, 

      don't you think that we could eliminate that 450g worth of data and save a 
      lot of money in training, dba costs and license fees if we converted 
      everything to Excel Spreadsheets?  Why are you looking at me like 
      that?  No, now put down that chair that could be an OHSA 
      recordable.  Open Wide?  Oh, you silly.  I've already had 
      brunch with the steering committee.  That's where this excellent 
      excel idea came from.  We can do this right?  I figure 450 g 
      isn't that much is it?  All we have to do is get some PC's and a 
      couple secretaries and...  No, back away.  Noooooooo."  
      Stuff, cram, cram.


      /Clip 

      Eric Pierce as Master Po giver of infinite 
      knowledge. /Clip <FONT 
      size=2>"Grasshopper.  You will find all you need at these 
      links." /Clip 
      Director Jared Still, in a special appearance.  He 
      dispatches another developer for bad locking practices: <FONT 
      size=2>/Clip "Six table locks?  For a three 
      table select?  I asked for code and you bring me this.  What 
      have I done to deserve this disrespect.    To the acid 
      baths with him..."


      /Clip 

      Christopher Bowes as the thoroughly confused 
      rookie: /Clip: <FONT 
      size=2>"HELP!...  Am I an idiot?  Well, no I don't think so. 
      What's an idiot?   RTFM? What's an RTFM?  Read the 
      what?  What's a concepts manual.  What's a concept?  That's 
      nice, but what is a database?  I've got to build one for my boss 
      today.  I told him I would and my performance review is at 
      3pm...  Is 15 minutes enough time to build a 40 terabyte base?  
      But I thought DBA's did nothing but get in the way of us 
      developers...  What's a tablespace?  What's a table"


      /Clip 

      Other special appearances by Steve Adams, Christopher 
      Spence, Joe Testa and lots of others from the Oracle-L.  See them all 
      as you've never seen them before.
      See Oracle-L, the UNCUT version.  Coming this 
      fall. 
      Sorry, folks, slow day...