From MohanR@STARS-SMI.com Tue, 01 May 2001 14:38:02 -0700 From: "Mohan, Ross" Date: Tue, 01 May 2001 14:38:02 -0700 Subject: RE: OT -- marketing (was Windows vs. UNIX) Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain Title: RE: OT -- marketing (was Windows vs. UNIX) God, how I love this list.
-----Original Message-----From: Kirsh, Gary [mailto:gary.kirsh@gs.com]Sent: Tuesday, May 01, 2001 6:10 PMTo: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-LSubject: RE: OT -- marketing (was Windows vs. UNIX) Ross,   Here's your prose after I ran it through the Oraclizer:   "Robust cross-optimized, scalable dung filters seamlessly harmonize online B2B and B2C interactions, requiring deep instinct-based best-of-breed CRM, BPE, SOL, and DOA products with a cutting edge, ass-centric, butt-licking, customer driven coherence."   This now scores a jargon 6.  A little more practice, and you too can get a job at Oracle!   Gary   Gary Kirsh Next Extent, Inc. -----Original Message-----From: Mohan, Ross [mailto:MohanR@STARS-SMI.com]Sent: Tuesday, May 01, 2001 5:11 PMTo: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-LSubject: RE: OT -- marketing (was Windows vs. UNIX) Cute website, but sadly, it deemed my submission (below) to be level 1 - the best possible prose. Uh huh. "Cross-optimized dung filters harmonize online interactions requiring deep instinct-based CRM, BPE, SOL, and DOA products with a ass-centric, butt-licking coherence." || -----Original Message----- || From: Kirsh, Gary [mailto:gary.kirsh@gs.com] || Sent: Tuesday, May 01, 2001 4:20 PM || To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L || Subject: RE: OT -- marketing (was Windows vs. UNIX) || || || Eric, || || Judging from their recent press releases, I'd say it does || NOT apply to their || marketing information.  Check for yourself, trying running || some of their || finest marketing prose through the Jargonator at || http://www.jargonfreeweb.com.  I just tried the press release titled || "Mykrolis Takes Oracle Straight to the Bottom Line", and it || scored a 6 - || "Put it in the bottom of your bird cage and start over", the || highest (or || lowest, depending on how you look at it) jargon score. || || To be fair, I've found Larry to be pretty good in this || regard, but as you || start moving down from the top of the Oracle management || pyramid, the jargon || really starts to snowball, to the point where I've seen (and || worked for) || some low-level managers who speak completely in meaningless, || buzzword-laden || techno babble.  My theory is that the quantity of technical || jargon used is || inversely proportional to the speakers actual understanding of the || technology. || || Gary || || Gary Kirsh || Next Extent, Inc || || -----Original Message----- || Sent: Tuesday, May 01, 2001 3:40 PM || To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L || || || Does that apply to Oracle's complex, frequently nearly inpenetrable || ever changing jargon related to product line/descriptions and || marketing/pricing information, or "just" the technology?   :) || || As far as the general topic of marketing effectiveness and/or || failure, there used to be some sort of marketing industry award that || was given out to giant corporations that spent vast sums on || marketing || consultants and ad campaigns that are huge flops. It is not unusual || at all. Of course it is essentially a virtual reality industry, so || you can imagine the difficulty of trying to q/a that stuff.  || || My guess is that one of the justifications for big IT corps to spend || vast sums on mass "public image" ads is to intimidate competition by || creating the appearance of "normalcy" (about the corporation || doing th || advertising) in public opinion.  || || In other words, when I see a TV ad for PacBell "data operations" || I know that it is probably even more of a huge pile of cr*p than the || average corporate ad, and somehow suspect it is related to || Worldcom's || ads, and some attempt to create a "perception" that PacBell is able || (is is soon going to be able) to effectively compete with || Worldcom in || data services. || || etc. || || regards, || ep || || || On 1 May 2001, at 9:37, Kirsh, Gary wrote: || || Date sent:           Tue, 01 May 2001 09:37:06 -0800 || To:                  Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L || || || > To hear Larry's take on IBM and their new ads, go to || oracle.com and click || on || > this news story: || > || > "Oracle declares war on complexity. Watch the webcast of || Larry Ellison's || > interview with Salomon Smith Barney and press conference." || || ... || || || -- || Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com || -- || Author: Eric D. Pierce ||   INET: PierceED@csus.edu || || Fat City Network Services    -- (858) 538-5051  FAX: (858) 538-5051 || San Diego, California        -- Public Internet access / || Mailing Lists || -------------------------------------------------------------------- || To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message || to: ListGuru@fatcity.com (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in || the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L || (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from).  You may || also send the HELP command for other information (like subscribing). || -- || Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com || -- || Author: Kirsh, Gary ||   INET: gary.kirsh@gs.com || || Fat City Network Services    -- (858) 538-5051  FAX: (858) 538-5051 || San Diego, California        -- Public Internet access / || Mailing Lists || -------------------------------------------------------------------- || To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message || to: ListGuru@fatcity.com (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in || the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L || (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from).  You may || also send the HELP command for other information (like subscribing). ||