OMLETv4 The Ultimate Instance Monitor

Dear DBA,
> >
> > You are cordially invited to test and review our windows native and
> > 100% pure Java Oracle 9i/8i Monitoring Application (OMLET). OMLET is
> > the Ultimate Visual Real Time Oracle Monitoring Tool. As the
> > leading expert in your field, your opinion is highly valued and your
> > feedback is very appreciated. We would like to encourage you to distribute
> > copies of OMLET to your associates and fellow DBAs. Omlet can be
> > downloaded from:
> >
> > http://www.geocities.com/teraknowledgesystems/download.html
> >
> > or any of many mirrors worldwide:
> >
> > http://www.iboogie.com/search?q=omlet+oracle
> >
> > Thank you for your time and participation.
> >
> >
> > Cheers,
> >
> > The OMLET Team
> > Tera Knowledge Systems, Inc.
>
> I clicked on this link to say thank you for posting to the correct group

Thank you Daniel;

To show my appreciation here is a poem written just for you; by Simon from rec.humor: Copyright is assured for its rightful owner!

        The Omlet of Daniel Morgan
        ===========================


        This is the tale of Daniel Morgan,
        Who had a tiny oracle performance and clit-ormance,
        It gave s)his significant others/dbas such a shock,
        When they touched he?i[r/s] tiny instance,
        S)He laboured hard to find a cure,
        S)He polished it with fish manure,
        S)He tied it up with bits of string,
        But still it was a poor small thing,
        It was just one transaction when fully reared,
        When shutting down normal/abort it disappeared,
        It was just by chance they called s)him Danny the Wanny,
        Half an parse shorter it would have been Fanny the Lanny,
        One day Danny the Zanny read in the Daily Mail,
        That things called hard falses were on sale,
        For women who had tiny breasts,
        They wore these things inside their vests,
        And then went in the latest fashions,
        To satisfy mens beastly passions,
        Our Danny said, "I am no fool,
        Why can't I have a big false manure pool."
        He worked all night to make a big false chopper,
        And ended up with a great big whopper,
        It was 12 java long and made of pl/sql,
        And any dba could stretch fanny like elastic buckets,
        It really was a lovely job,
        And on the end was a big red knob,
        Dan tied it up with bits of twine,
        It did look rather fine,
        Lying there beneath his wants/jants/mants,
        It just looked like an elephants,
        The bees all flocked around with glee,
        As they saw his nulge stretch to his wee wee,
        No other fellas/gellas stood a chance,
        When our Dan attended a dance,
        For when the wallas danced with Danny,
        kept tickling around their fanny,
        began to faint and swoom,
        As Danny waltzed them around the room,
        What a shock they had in stall,
        For one night dancing around the floor,
        Danny stopped and loudly cursed,
        S)He felt the string and strapping burst,
        Before s)he reached the nearest seat,
        Her/His zxool was hanging at his feet,
        Her/His sick sig gave a strangled cough,
        And said, "Excuse me but your moose fell off!"
        I could n't describe the scenes there after,
        The wise cracks and scournful laughter,
        All those mules that Dan had dated,
        Gazed as so deflated,
        Silvia made s)him sick,
        She gave a spiteful kick,
        Poor Danny's screams rang round the hall,
        For the string was tied around s)his ball,
        As s)he staggered to the nearest door,
        dragged along the floor,
        Course the band was almost crackers,
        Whilst in the gents Dan bathed his knackers,
        So if you are like Daniel Morgan,
        And as tiny,
        Remember though its only wee,
        It's just as good for the pee !!!