[OT, bland humor ] Re: Help required - URGENT PLS

From: robert <robert_at_barbarian.thesecondnexus.net>
Date: Sat, 10 Jan 2009 21:12:50 -0600
Message-ID: <gkbo3c$al3$1_at_news.motzarella.org>

Palooka wrote:
> CAN U HELP ME? I get ORA-01034 WHEN I TRY TO GET TO MY DB. THIS IS
> PROD, SO YOU MUST NOT DLEAY. PLS DO THE NEEDFUL SOONEST.
>
> THX GURU'S.
> RANJEET
Take your pick of answers, depending on your company's CMM level. In no particular order, I could think of only 6:

1. "Production? I cant touch it until you file a trouble ticket"
2. "How did you get my number?"
3. "I'm not the assigned DBA for this system and/or region "
4. "Give me ten minutes ..."
5. "Umm WHICH database??" "...if you dont know that then can you send me your connection string" "...if you don't know that then tell me which application and I'll figure out which database from their" "...if you dont know that (yes it happens), then which web service were you calling, or if it was a web page then what was the URL?" (assuming either you are willing to walk the code or can look up the dependency somewhere)
6. "We've brought the database back up now, and you can restart your application. Root cause is <whatever>"
7. ?

Received on Sat Jan 10 2009 - 21:12:50 CST