RE: SLightly off topic: Poem of the Oracle DBA interviewee

From: <Joel.Patterson_at_crowley.com>
Date: Fri, 15 Aug 2008 15:10:07 -0400
Message-ID: <0684DA55864E404F8AD2E2EBDFD557DA01898EDB@JAXMSG01.crowley.com>


I forgot to include my smiley face.  

Then again you don't get the interview without the resume... and we know how that goes. But being an 'expert' is such a broad and ambiguous term it defies reality. Anyone can claim to be and expert, but an expert has to qualify the term because a DBA is extremely broad. Because you know something well as an interviewer does not mean they are not an expert in areas you did not question.  

I probably can work my ass off for the next 15 years and still couldn't be an 'expert'.... Except for areas of specialization. The job takes me in directions that normally defy the interview questions. Heck, I'm exploring Spatial data just to see if I should recommend it or not. I've never used it yet, (well actually I installed it 15 years ago)... And considering all the apps available from BI to Data Warehousing, I know it in my case quite apparent that 'expert' is a very loose term indeed. (400 apps?) Well at least that many default passwords.... Oh did I say security expert :-) A field unto itself.  

Joel Patterson
Database Administrator
joel.patterson_at_crowley.com
x72546
904 727-2546


From: Joe Cooper [mailto:aregularjoe8_at_yahoo.com] Sent: Friday, August 15, 2008 2:47 PM
To: Patterson, Joel; robertgfreeman_at_yahoo.com; oracle-l_at_freelists.org Subject: Re: SLightly off topic: Poem of the Oracle DBA interviewee  

Perhaps we've earned the right to be cynical. I'm sure I'm not the only list'er who has spent a few too many late nights over a 20-year career cleaning up after messes made by self-proclaimed experts very similar to the fictional job candidate in the poem. (Fortunately I can dodge the blame, as I eschew any position with hiring authority.)  

Then again, maybe I was just born cynical. ;-)  

Joe Cooper

Senior Oracle DBA

Department of Veterans Affairs

Austin, TX

aregularjoe8_at_yahoo.com  

  • Original Message ---- From: "Joel.Patterson_at_crowley.com" <Joel.Patterson_at_crowley.com> To: robertgfreeman_at_yahoo.com; oracle-l_at_freelists.org Sent: Friday, August 15, 2008 8:09:10 AM Subject: RE: SLightly off topic: Poem of the Oracle DBA interviewee

Are we cynical?

Joel Patterson
Database Administrator
joel.patterson_at_crowley.com
x72546
904 727-2546

-----Original Message-----

From: oracle-l-bounce_at_freelists.org
[mailto:oracle-l-bounce_at_freelists.org] On Behalf Of Robert Freeman Sent: Thursday, August 14, 2008 6:57 PM
To: Oracle-L Freelists
Subject: SLightly off topic: Poem of the Oracle DBA interviewee

The poem of the Oracle DBA Interviewee....

Hello sir, how do you do?
I'm an Oracle expert,
Let me interview with you!

Twenty years experience here.
Oracle is the one,
that my experience is near.

Yes I'm an expert,
don't you see.
nobody can know databases,
better than me!

What is the SGA you inquired.
his stumbling on the question,
leaves you not terribly inspired.

PGA? What is that you say?
I do not know,
mediocrity is really my way..

But I'm an expert,
don't you see.
nobody can know databases,
better than me!

Explain plan? Oh my!
I think you fix,
your SQL will fly.

Hints, I'm really not so sure,
I think they are going away,
besides, they make SQL un-pure.

But I'm an expert,
don't you see.
nobody can know databases,
better than me!

Normalized design, I've read it seems.
when you have done so,
the database always screams.

What about backups you say?
I Put the tapes in,
I take them out - all day.

But I'm an expert,
don't you see.
nobody can know databases,
better than me!

Have a slow database today?
Hardware is cheaper than tuning,
thats what I always say!

Metalink? I'm too good to go that way.
Tom Kyte, Jonathan Lewis
who in tarnation are they?

Sadly, I look at the DBA, man,
so sad he is...
As I commit his resume to the can.

and in the distance I hear the words...

But I'm an expert,
don't you see.
nobody can know databases,
better than me!

Robert G. Freeman
Author:
Oracle Database 11g New Features (Oracle Press) Portable DBA: Oracle (Oracle Press)
Oracle Database 10g New Features (Oracle Press) Oracle9i RMAN Backup and Recovery (Oracle Press) Oracle9i New Feature
Blog: http://robertgfreeman.blogspot.com <http://robertgfreeman.blogspot.com/> (Oracle Press) The LDS Church is looking for DBA's. You must be LDS to apply (please don't write to me and tell me I'm breaking the law. A church can choose to hire members of it's own faith. Look it up if you don't believe me).

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http://www.freelists.org/webpage/oracle-l Received on Fri Aug 15 2008 - 14:10:07 CDT

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