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(OT) RE: Look's like Larry's at it again...

From: Jacques Kilchoer <>
Date: Fri, 20 Jun 2003 11:54:46 -0700
Message-ID: <>

I hate to be a spoilsport, but some people unfamiliar with the USA might be taking this seriously. This is, of course, a humorous piece, in the same vein as the joke about Microsoft purchasing the Catholic Church

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Jesse, Rich [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Oracle Makes Bid to Buy State of Delaware
> Software giant willing to assume state's $225 million deficit
> in exchange
> for
> legislative control, naming rights
> Wilmington, DE - Oracle CEO Larry Ellison today announced his
> intention to
> purchase the state of Delaware for $300 million in cash and
> Oracle stock.
> The
> move comes on the heels of Oracle's bid for rival software
> firm PeopleSoft,
> and is the first time that an offer has been made to buy a
> U.S. territory.
> Delaware governor Ruth Ann Minner responded to the bid with
> shock and seemed
> certain that the hostile takeover could be avoided.
> "Oracle's bid comes as a big surprise to the government and people of
> Delaware", said Minner at a press conference. "At this point, we are
> checking
> into whether or not a company, such as Oracle, can buy a
> state, and whether
> or
> not Delaware is actually for sale."
> Oracle's announcement sent shockwaves through the political
> and economic
> landscape. Oracle shares dropped 8% immediately following
> the announcement,
> only to rebound and break even for the day, with heavy volume
> being traded.
> Meanwhile, government officials in Washington scrambled to
> look into the
> legality of such a purchase, and who actually currently owns Delaware.
> In an afternoon press conference, Ellison seemed certain that
> Oracle would
> own
> Delaware in the near future.
> "The fact is that the state of Delaware is in a budget crisis
> that it can
> not
> resolve. Oracle's bid will immediately pump $300 million into
> the state
> budget, and (Oracle) will also be assuming all current
> Delaware debt. Call
> this a 'hostile takeover' if you must, but the people of this
> great state
> deserve a better future, and I will be able to give them just that."
> President Bush, who was giving a speech to coal miners in
> Kentucky, called
> the
> Oracle bid "interesting" and added that "49 states would be
> easier for me to
> handle than 50".
> Ellison rival Tom Siebel called the move "typical", and added
> "Larry thinks
> he
> can take over the world, and I guess he thinks this is a good place to
> start.
> I personally would have targeted Vermont."
> Ellison defended his decision, citing fourteen state parks, a
> minor league
> baseball franchise, an annual Nascar race in Dover, and the
> annual Great
> Delaware Kite Festival as reasons that Delaware is primed for
> success.
> "Delaware is a state rich in tradition and excitement. None
> of the existing
> festivals or events will be changed. I mean, who doesn't love
> minor league
> baseball and kites?"
> If the takeover bid is successful, Ellison plans to place
> several Oracle
> executives in key state government positions, and is
> considering re-naming
> the
> state either New Ellison or OracleLand.
> [Couldn't resist, Jared! Hope it's not too OT!]

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Author: Jacques Kilchoer

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Received on Fri Jun 20 2003 - 13:54:46 CDT

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