Oracle-L: RE: OT: Technician having to play politics

From: raj p <raj_9777_at_yahoo.com>
Date: Sun, 06 Apr 2003 14:28:37 -0800
Message-ID: <F001.0057B6D9.20030406142837@fatcity.com>

no. delivery and labor was not easier. only feels that way now. and i am sure this (the current issue) will seem the same after some time. and you will wonder why it was bothering you so much. or allowing it to bother you. have the biggest smile at all times. that in itself helps. even if it takes an effort that itself will take your focus/mind away. looks like you have been nice so no need to be extra nice now. their turn to be nice. whatever you do do not let it rattle/upset you. easier said i know. but at least try it. at least do not let others know it is bothering you. that smile again. be they foes. u have to keep them guessing or be they frends they would like u to be happy and in control. or be they your company management/HR. they want your technical expertise without the baggage (hope this does not sound rude). they r selfish. they do not want someone who is not at 100% who can be rattled/messed by anyone. they might say they want to help you but they actually want someone who helps oneself tough as in TOUGH. don't we all. if you were to own a company and employ people you would want tough nuts who need least maintenance and who do not get upset at the slightest discord or confrontation. i am not saying u r. if rudeness crosses the line do bring it to mgmt/HR notice. more as an incident and not as something t! ha!
t bothers you ('I am too busy. Such non-sense does not bother me anyway. Not my prob'). then top it off with an offer to help clear any misunderstanding. that smile again. carry a printout of fav jokes if need be. dilbert clippings. Paula_Stankus_at_doh.state.fl.us wrote:
Thanks Rachel. Very good advice. Although I am scared shi##***!! - grown woman I am - I will try it. I think labor and delivery of my 9+ lb child was easier. I have left this one go for awhile now so I probably will have to do this a few times.

Oracle OCP DBA

-----Original Message-----
Sent: Sunday, April 06, 2003 4:14 PM
To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L

Dear Technician,

Have you tried talking one on one, outside the office, with the one person who is causing the problems?

Start with the "sandwich/oreo" approach:

begin with a statement that is flattering, something that they will enjoy hearing ("I really thought your ideas on xyz were great")

This ensures that they are in a receptive mood to hear what you next have to say

then continue with statements that address the problem. Each statement should be "I" (I feel, I think, I don't understand) as opposed to "you" (you do this, you don't do that). Do not use the word "but", that has negative connotations. Try not to use the word "not" as well (turn negative statements into positive ones)

statements can be along the lines of "I feel that sometimes we approach problems from different angles and I think that we end up working at cross-purposes. I would like to see us working together more smoothly. What can I do to help make this happen?"

this engages them in the process of better communications.

end with another flattering statement. This ensures that they leave you in a positive mood and don't immediately reject what you have to say.

Ann, filling in for Dear Oracle9i

Paula_Stankus_at_doh.state.fl.us wrote:
> Dear Ann (hehe),
>
> Previous to this assignment I have been considered to be principled
> about
> technology but reasonable and pragmatic. At this assignment I was
> given a
> big send up and there were some real insecurities already in-place
> from
> people put into high-level IT jobs without any real IT experience. I
> was
> told to take a proactive role (at first) and I did but I feel that
> this has
> only caused more resentment - plus I am not the best e-mail writer in
> the
> universe and e-mail can lead to miscommunications. Now, I look back
> at the
> last 3 years and realize that unconsciously people hear me with a
> certain
> perspective - miss know-it-all, technical geek -B*. Outside of my
> job I am
> considered patient, team-playing, caretaker type. I realize that the
> one
> thing I need to do is use this opportunity to hone my personal skills
> and I
> am not a person to easily give-up (worked one place for 10 years,
> married
> high-school sweetheart, dedicated wife, mother, daughter of elderly
> parents). However, with a bad start and the last 3 years of dodging
> more
> personal missiles then I can think of (including being personally
> insulted
> in meetings with users - something I would never do to another) I
> don't know
> what to do. The IT market is pretty stiff and right now I have 2
> small
> children, a husband and elderly parents relying on me and my income.
> Sometimes I feel that what I am feeling could be somewhat due to the
> tightening market and insecure overall economy and the fact that this
> particular organization has not had a strong CIO for the last 7 years
> -
> leading to more emphasis on political positioning (wow - learning
> much more
> about politics then I ever wanted to know) and that I am not alone.
> This
> environment I have used to temper my standards and responses, got
> Oracle OCP
> after holding out for 8 years, heck considering to write a book on
> the IT
> government industry - kind of a parody in light of P.J. O'Rourke.
> Please
> understand that not everyone in this environment has these issues.
> In
> otherwords, I am not Schizophrenic feeling everyone is against me.
> However,
> this environment is not balanced and so the moderate, objective
> voices seem
> to get lost in the storm. So I am trying to find a way to turn this
> whole
> thing around - I believe there is one person especially who is at the
> heart
> of this. Others have reported this as so. I do not wish to cause
> this
> person any harm. I just want to turn this thing around without
> having to
> get another job. I would like to see a win-win. My dream is to work
> with
> other technical professionals to development products of lasting
> quality
> that really address business needs. I have something significant
> invested
> in the users here, the technology, the other technicians and
> management.
> Any ideas/advice?
>

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Author: Rachel Carmichael 
  INET: wisernet100_at_yahoo.com 

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Author: raj p
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Received on Sun Apr 06 2003 - 17:28:37 CDT