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Re: Toasters

From: Ruth Gramolini <rgramolini_at_tax.state.vt.us>
Date: Thu, 05 Dec 2002 06:29:02 -0800
Message-ID: <F001.005130DF.20021205062902@fatcity.com>


Patrice,

You shouldn't be shocked to see these people being proud of what they did. They still got rich from it and still are rich because of it. Indicted doesnt' mean stripped of ill-gotten gain, it is just a price to be paid for fleecing the underclasses to get richer.

Ruth
----- Original Message -----
To: "Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L" <ORACLE-L_at_fatcity.com> Sent: Wednesday, December 04, 2002 12:24 PM

> I saw a video clip on our National News show here in Canada last night
("The
> National"), they talked about corruption at Enron, etc.
>
> Apparently the accounting consulting firms are still lobbying to let them
> continue negotiating consulting contracts with firms they are supposed to
be
> auditing at arms' length.
>
> The news item included a video from Enron, which emphasized that integrity
> was their prime motivator, and you see the top 3 executives in the video
who
> have since been indicted. I am probably naive, it was surprising to see
> people act normally (even proudly) as if nothing untoward was taking
place.
>
> If you are interested and can view video clips, you can go to
> http://www.cbc.ca/news/ and look in the right-hand column, under
> "Multimedia" to see the clips.
>
> Regards,
> Patrice Boivin (Canada)
>
> -----Original Message-----
> Sent: Wednesday, December 04, 2002 11:54 AM
> To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
>
>
> And
>
> And... if Enron had made toasters... The toast would have come out
crooked,
> and later 'magically' shred itself into croutons!
>
> :> Shiva
>
> -----Original Message-----
> Sent: Wednesday, December 04, 2002 3:39 AM
> To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
>
>
> As a bit of light relief....
> John
>
>
>
> Carry on til the end for the SAP toaster........
> If IBM made toasters ... They would want one big toaster where people
bring
> bread to be submitted for overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide
> market for five, maybe six toasters.
> If Xerox made toasters ... You could toast one-sided or double-sided.
> Successive slices would get lighter and lighter. The toaster would jam
your
> bread for you.
> If Radio Shack made toasters ... The staff would sell you a toaster, but
not
> know anything about it. Or you could buy all the parts to build your own
> toaster.
> If Oracle made toasters ... They'd claim their toaster was compatible with
> all brands and styles of bread, but when you got it home you'd discover
the
> Bagel Engine was still in development, the Croissant Extension was three
> years away, and that indeed the whole appliance was just blowing smoke.
> If Sun made toasters ... The toast would burn often, but you could get a
> really good cuppa Java.
> Does DEC still make toasters?... They made good toasters in the '80s,
didn't
> they?
> If Hewlett-Packard made toasters ... They would market the Reverse
Toaster,
> which takes in toast and gives you regular bread.
> If Tandem made toasters ... You could make toast 24 hours a day, and if a
> piece got burned the toaster would automatically toast you a new one.
> If Thinking Machines made toasters ... You would be able to toast 64,000
> pieces of bread at the same time.
> If Cray made toasters ... They would cost $16 million but would be faster
> than any other single-slice toaster in the world.
> If the NSA made toasters ... Your toaster would have a secret trap door
that
> only the NSA could access in case they needed to get at your toast for
> reasons of national security.
> If Sony made toasters ... The ToastMan, which would be barely larger than
> the single piece of bread it is meant to toast, can be conveniently
attached
> to your belt.
> If Timex made toasters ... They would be cheap and small quartz-crystal
> wrist toasters that take a licking and keep on toasting.
> If Fisher Price made toasters ... "Baby's First Toaster" would have a
> hand-crank that you turn to toast the bread that pops up like a
> Jack-in-the-box.
> And, of course: If Microsoft made toasters ... Every time you bought a
loaf
> of bread, you would have to buy a toaster. You wouldn't have to take the
> toaster, but you'd still have to pay for it anyway. Toaster'95 would weigh
> 15000 pounds (hence requiring a reinforced steel countertop), draw enough
> electricity to power a small city, take up 95% of the space in your
kitchen,
> would claim to be the first toaster that lets you control how light or
dark
> you want your toast to be, and would secretly interrogate your other
> appliances to find out who made them. Everyone would hate Microsoft
> toasters, but nonetheless would buy them since most of the good bread only
> works with their toasters.
> If Apple made toasters ... It would do everything the Microsoft toaster
> does, but 5 years earlier.
> If SAP made toasters, the manual to run the toaster would be approximately
> 10,000 pages long. The toaster would come with 2,500 switches which would
> all have to be set in an exact pattern and in a precise sequence in order
to
> toast specific kinds of bread. Each pattern would be established by SAP's
> experts as the "Best Practices" method of toasting that kind of bread. It
> would take a team of basis and functional contractors about 1 year to
> configure the toaster in the best manner, and then another 6 months to
test
> it. In the mean time, your entire family would need to attend extensive
> training classes on how to use the new toaster. In order to support end
> users and consultants, MIT would establish a list-serv for people to post
> questions and answers regarding toaster set-up and operation. Of course,
the
> online help would randomly pop up in German. But once it was running,
you'd
> get the best toast in the world.
>
>
>
> --
> Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com
> --
> Author: <John.Hallas_at_vodafone.co.uk
> INET: John.Hallas_at_vodafone.co.uk
>
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> Author: Baswannappa, Shiva
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>
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> --
> Author: Boivin, Patrice J
> INET: BoivinP_at_mar.dfo-mpo.gc.ca
>
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-- 
Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com
-- 
Author: Ruth Gramolini
  INET: rgramolini_at_tax.state.vt.us

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Received on Thu Dec 05 2002 - 08:29:02 CST

Original text of this message

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