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Home -> Community -> Mailing Lists -> Oracle-L -> RE: OT: RE: Duhvelopers and DB-ehs?
well if you didn't keep paying me in bloomin' bananas me and me mates would never have gone on strike!!
;-) LOL "hit any user to continue"
Kevin Thomas
Technical Analyst
Deregulation Services
Calanais Ltd.
(2nd Floor East - Weirs Building)
Tel: 0141 568 2377
Fax: 0141 568 2366
http://www.calanais.com
>From: Jacques Kilchoer <Jacques.Kilchoer_at_quest.com>
>Reply-To: ORACLE-L_at_fatcity.com
>To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L <ORACLE-L_at_fatcity.com>
>Subject: OT: RE: Duhvelopers and DB-ehs?
>Date: Fri, 31 Aug 2001 12:20:26 -0800
>
>I am in charge of 273 databases at sites throughout the world, some of them
>in places with no electricity where we have an elephant on a treadmill
>supplying power. I personally had to once step in for the elephant when he
>was feeling under the weather.
>
>All of these databases are 26 x 8, meaning 26 hours a day eight days a week
>since we have to deal with the additional day caused by the international
>date line, and two extra hours because of some places have weird time
>zones.
>On certain days the International Time committee adds a leap second to the
>day which means that on those days I have to work an extra second * 273
>databases which adds up to several minutes.
>
>On 19 of those databases, due to the lack of funds for storage, I have to
>do
>a backup to paper, i.e. I have to manually read every table through select
>statements and write them down on paper using a broken pencil.
>
>We are planning on sending a few databases out onto satellites, one of them
>on a probe to Neptune. I will also be in charge of the backup/uptime for
>those mission-critical systems, since they will be used as the back-end for
>a
>website that receives thousands of hits per minute (a Britney Spears fan
>club site).
>
>I am the only human DBA. We have three helper monkeys at remote locations
>but they are currently on strike.
>
>I have to run off now because the coffee machine is broken and no one is
>here to fix it except me. I had to carve my own coffe cup out of wood
>because I can't afford ceramic.
-- Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com -- Author: Rachel Carmichael INET: carmichr_at_hotmail.com Fat City Network Services -- (858) 538-5051 FAX: (858) 538-5051 San Diego, California -- Public Internet access / Mailing Lists -------------------------------------------------------------------- To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message to: ListGuru_at_fatcity.com (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from). You may also send the HELP command for other information (like subscribing). -- Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com -- Author: Thomas, Kevin INET: Kevin.Thomas_at_calanais.com Fat City Network Services -- (858) 538-5051 FAX: (858) 538-5051 San Diego, California -- Public Internet access / Mailing Lists -------------------------------------------------------------------- To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message to: ListGuru_at_fatcity.com (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from). You may also send the HELP command for other information (like subscribing).Received on Mon Sep 03 2001 - 04:31:26 CDT
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