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Re: RE: UNCUT ORACLE-L The Motion Picture

From: Charles Wolfe <>
Date: Tue, 14 Aug 2001 14:39:52 -0700
Message-ID: <>

Don't you mean "rogue" college
intern?    :)
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  Coming to theaters near you.   Oracle-L, the UNCUT   version is rated NC-17.
  Directed by Bruce. Produced by Jared
  Lisa Koivu.  Watch as she machetes a user who left his   userid and password on a post-it on his PC allowing a rouge college intern to   hack the system and destroy data.
  FOR THE LAST TIME MISTER!!!!",  User: "NOooooooooooooo!"  Hack hack   slice slice  Lisa: "Now where's that intern..."

  Ross Mohan as her feisty sidekick. (envision Joe Pesci)
/Clip "Nice Cutting Lisa.  So

  l-user, is it funny now?  Does she make you laugh?  Like a   clown?  Looks like we'll have to rewrite that song.  'The ankle   bone's connected to the spinal cord...'"

  Rachel Carmichel, as the goddess of manager destruction. Watch   as she stuffs a chair down the throat of a manager for his really stupid   ideas.
/Clip Manager:  "But Rachel,

  don't you think that we could eliminate that 450g worth of data and save a lot   of money in training, dba costs and license fees if we converted everything to   Excel Spreadsheets?  Why are you looking at me like that?  No, now   put down that chair that could be an OHSA recordable.  Open Wide?    Oh, you silly.  I've already had brunch with the steering   committee.  That's where this excellent excel idea came from.  We   can do this right?  I figure 450 g isn't that much is it?  All we   have to do is get some PC's and a couple secretaries and...  No, back   away.  Noooooooo."  Stuff, cram, cram.

  Eric Pierce as Master Po giver of infinite knowledge.
/Clip "Grasshopper.  You will

  find all you need at these links." /Clip   Director Jared Still, in a special appearance.  He   dispatches another developer for bad locking practices: <FONT   size=2>/Clip "Six table locks?  For a three table   select?  I asked for code and you bring me this.  What have I done   to deserve this disrespect.    To the acid baths with   him..."

  Christopher Bowes as the thoroughly confused rookie:
/Clip: "HELP!...  Am I an

  idiot?  Well, no I don't think so. What's an idiot?   RTFM?   What's an RTFM?  Read the what?  What's a concepts manual.    What's a concept?  That's nice, but what is a database?  I've got to   build one for my boss today.  I told him I would and my performance   review is at 3pm...  Is 15 minutes enough time to build a 40 terabyte   base?  But I thought DBA's did nothing but get in the way of us   developers...  What's a tablespace?  What's a table"

  Other special appearances by Steve Adams, Christopher Spence,   Joe Testa and lots of others from the Oracle-L.  See them all as you've   never seen them before.
  See Oracle-L, the UNCUT version.  Coming this   fall.
  Sorry, folks, slow day... Received on Tue Aug 14 2001 - 16:39:52 CDT

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