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RE: Work vs marriage

From: Steve Orr <>
Date: Fri, 2 Jun 2000 12:17:24 -0700
Message-Id: <>

While interviewing at
"" one of my greatest fears was entering a
"gen-X-culture-of-geek-dweebs-with-no-life" determined to work long hours and get rich quick and drive custom Beemers and Porches like their friends.

Eventually I got into a very intense time with lots of stuff to do in a short period of time. My understanding was that it was only temporary so I had a "family conference." (My wife and I have spawned 3 munchkins who are now 6-10 years old so we "time-challenged".) The conference went like, "Now Daddy's going to be very busy at work the next couple of weeks but it's only temporary. In the mean time we need you kids to be extra helpful by blah, blah, blah... And then afterwards, when life gets back to normal then we'll do something special like blah, blah, blah..." The kids really appreciated being in the family conference and responded wonderfully. Eventually things did get back to normal and we were none worse for the wear. I had intended to quit the job if things did not get back to normal. There's no need to accept overly long hours as the status quo.

There's a difference between temporarily putting in extra time to complete a crucial task and working long hours as a habit or way of life. One of the local news programs had a piece about how the's are sometimes taking advantage of people. They encourage long hours, because we're all on "Internet time," while holding out the elusive promise of stock option riches after "we go public."

(There's a storm coming when it comes to employment practices. The current practice is not to pay overtime to all salaried employees however the original intent of the law only applies to officers of the corporation, VP's, directors, and the like. Companies have conveniently interpreted the law to their benefit but now they're beginning to lose in lawsuits for overtime from ordinary salaried folks like us.)

Just a few observations...

Would someone please tell me it's Friday? Please?!! Steve Orr

-----Original Message-----
From: []On Behalf Of Walt Weaver Sent: Wednesday, May 31, 2000 9:23 AM
To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L Subject: RE: Work vs marriage

I purposely seek out employment that lets me spend more time with my family and my fun pursuits, i.e. soaring, fly fishing, etc.

I enjoy DBA work, but I enjoy my off time more. I live where I want to live, and while my salary is probably half of what most people make on this list, I spend most of my evenings and weekends where I want to be: with my family, or in the sky, or on the river.

I'll leave the 80-hour weeks to you workaholics. Life's too short for that crap, IMHO.

--Walt Weaver
  Bozeman, Montana, USA

-----Original Message-----
Sent: Wednesday, May 31, 2000 6:18 AM
To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L

I have a story like this to tell;

Some time ago I had to work during the weekend for some ^#$&* hacked our computers.
On Wednesday I took the wife and kids to the circus and some hamburger-restaurant. They asked me 'when's the next weekend you have to work?'
The guy next to me didn't do this, and his family tells him 'not to work that much'

I think we all know that if everything ok at home, work goes well too.... (and v.v.)

Eric Lansu

> Dick,
> I want to work for you...
> Tom Harleman
> 11080 Willowmere Dr.
> Indianapolis, IN 46280
> 317-844-2884 Home
> 317-843-9122 Home Office
> -----Original Message-----
> Sent: Tuesday, May 30, 2000 10:38 AM
> To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
> Tony,
> Many a year ago I too came home to a similar situation, after 48 hours
> on
> the flight line, coaxing a number of KC-135's & an SR-71 into the air.
> After
> getting some sleep, listening to the wife complain about "how much of a
> work-aholic" I was & reading a book to my three daughters before they went
> to
> bed, I found what I was missing. Since then, work is whatever time I
> at
> work or if I wake up early in the morning (of my own volition, not the
> clock). And I take my wife out at least once a week. Marriage has never
> been
> better. This weekend we collectively spend the entire three days out on
> yard getting her flowers all planted, trimmed, etc... Boy does my back
> ache!!
> In short and in my opinion, If you aren't spending at least as much
> working on your marriage as you spend at work, you really can't complain
> the
> results!! That goes for ALL of us, guys & gals.
> Dick Goulet, MSgt, USAF (retired)
> Senior Oracle DBA
> Vicor Corporation
> ____________________Reply Separator____________________
> Author: Sherwin Anthony Sequeira <>
> Date: 5/26/00 8:04 PM
> > i hear u both, i'm supposed to leave at 3P on friday, at 2:50P,
> > emails me about out of space on a PK index(partitioned), so i think no
> > biggie, i dont have DBA privs(its a production db and i dont do
> production),
> > so i start digging and realize its a range partitioned index and the
> ranges
> > are WAY OFF. so i spend this evening, figuring out the correct ranges
> > rebuild the index.
> >
> > bahhhhh
> >
> >
> > joe
> Joe,
> Please accept my commiserations. Users, don't you love them?
> I spent this evening driving 3 hours (70 miles) through pelting
> and
> Bank holiday traffic, coming home to a loving daughter and a not so loving
> wife.
> I spent the day demonstrating Oracle's point in time recovery to a
> customer. Unfortunately the redo logs were screwed, with no backups! So
> much
> for the demo.
> But, I spent the evening playing snooker and drinking Honey Dew.
> Now
> catching up with the list.
> I bet you still enjoy it though eh!
> Regards.
> Tony
> --
> S. A. Sequeira
> --
> Author: Sherwin Anthony Sequeira

Author: Eric Lansu

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Author: Walt Weaver

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Received on Fri Jun 02 2000 - 14:17:24 CDT

Original text of this message