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Don't worry: Be happy. [message #400497] Tue, 28 April 2009 08:36 Go to next message
Frank Naude
Messages: 4502
Registered: April 1998
Senior Member
I just wonder what genius at Oracle entered this message:

$ oerr tns 00000
00000, 00000, "Not An Error"
// *Cause:  Everything is working as it should.
// *Action: Don't worry: Be happy.


Best regards.

Frank
Re: Don't worry: Be happy. [message #400548 is a reply to message #400497] Tue, 28 April 2009 12:49 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Littlefoot
Messages: 20891
Registered: June 2005
Location: Croatia, Europe
Senior Member
Account Moderator
./fa/2115/0/ Must be someone who has (good) sense of humor.

Here's another technical story about Australian airways company, Quantas (most probably not true, but is sort of funny).

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor ...

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P. Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
Re: Don't worry: Be happy. [message #400553 is a reply to message #400548] Tue, 28 April 2009 13:14 Go to previous messageGo to next message
joy_division
Messages: 4640
Registered: February 2005
Location: East Coast USA
Senior Member
Littlefoot wrote on Tue, 28 April 2009 13:49
./fa/2115/0/

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.



That was true when "Rain Man" came out, but it thought it had since had an accident.
Re: Don't worry: Be happy. [message #401342 is a reply to message #400548] Mon, 04 May 2009 02:30 Go to previous messageGo to next message
djmartin
Messages: 10180
Registered: March 2005
Location: Canberra ACT Australia
Senior Member
Account Moderator
Yes, it is QANTAS (all caps, it is an abbreviation), not Quantas.

If you call running of the end of a runway "not an accident" then it hasn't had one. No fatalities anyway. http://www.atsb.gov.au/aviation/editorials/e00012.aspx

David
Re: Don't worry: Be happy. [message #401359 is a reply to message #401342] Mon, 04 May 2009 04:39 Go to previous message
Littlefoot
Messages: 20891
Registered: June 2005
Location: Croatia, Europe
Senior Member
Account Moderator
Thank you, David! Sorry for the mistake - one was a typo (Quantas) and the other (abbreviation) is the result of (my) ignorance.

For all of you, who are interested in its meaning, it is "Queensland and Northern Territory Aerial Services Limited" (so that you wouldn't have to Google for it).

Fly safely!
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