Home » Other » Community Hangout » Contest: the most vague question
Contest: the most vague question [message #196380] Thu, 05 October 2006 03:27 Go to next message
Frank
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After seeing yet another rather vague question, let's start a contest.
Which is the vaguest question ever posted?
example
example

JSI2001 already made some nice replies pointing people to the fact they were 'a tad vague'.
Re: Contest: [message #196549 is a reply to message #196380] Thu, 05 October 2006 21:25 Go to previous messageGo to next message
rleishman
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Those are going to be hard to beat. You see the occasional"Why is my query slow?", but I reckon those two beat even that.
Re: Contest: [message #196586 is a reply to message #196549] Fri, 06 October 2006 01:08 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Maaher
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When it comes to topic titles, here's my all time favourite: "urgent plz help me"

I've searched but I can't find any threads (still looking) that beat yours, Frank. I recall a thread that was something like "I want a job in Oracle, help me" but I can't find it back.

MHE
Re: Contest: [message #196588 is a reply to message #196586] Fri, 06 October 2006 01:14 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Frank
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Ok, another one then.
Re: Contest: [message #196590 is a reply to message #196588] Fri, 06 October 2006 01:19 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Maaher
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And another.

MHE
Re: Contest: [message #196591 is a reply to message #196590] Fri, 06 October 2006 01:32 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Frank
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lol
"want a job. which job should i take and what should I do?
<strikethrough>please help</strikethrough> it's urgent"
Re: Contest: [message #196729 is a reply to message #196591] Fri, 06 October 2006 16:16 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Frank
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Since joydivision failed to mark this one, I will
Re: Contest: [message #196748 is a reply to message #196729] Sat, 07 October 2006 00:27 Go to previous messageGo to next message
rleishman
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Yeah, look, that's not bad. But really, it doesn't rate against "What are the disadvantages of RDBMS?".

That one is just addictive. You find youself thinking of more and more answers without realizing you are pondering it.
Re: Contest: [message #196763 is a reply to message #196748] Sat, 07 October 2006 02:14 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Frank
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true. So we have a winner already I guess
Re: Contest: [message #196873 is a reply to message #196763] Sun, 08 October 2006 22:23 Go to previous messageGo to next message
rleishman
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Well that one gets my vote.

How about a new competition for the cleverest use of sarcasm in responding to a stupid/vague/lazy question? Once again, Jim's is going to be hard to beat.
Re: Contest: [message #197051 is a reply to message #196873] Mon, 09 October 2006 14:24 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Frank
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I agree that Jim stands a good chance, but joy_division is certainly trying to top this list!
Re: Contest: [message #197079 is a reply to message #197051] Mon, 09 October 2006 21:37 Go to previous messageGo to next message
rleishman
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This is an old favourite from Frank. Its certainly not the first time it was used, but is possibly the best response from the OP.

A classic from William Robertson - so very British. Looks like theres a gap in this thread where it got heated and deleted.
Re: Contest: [message #197111 is a reply to message #197079] Tue, 10 October 2006 02:01 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Frank
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Littlefoot found a great solution for finding out the age of a customer
Re: Contest: [message #197196 is a reply to message #197111] Tue, 10 October 2006 08:15 Go to previous messageGo to next message
joy_division
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Hey, I never even knew about this forum. Only from Maaher's posting in the Newbie Forum did I decide to take a look. Great, now I have to spend even more time here and less doing work.

but, what about these 2 gems, the second one especially. Sounds more like a thesis topic.

http://www.orafaq.com/forum/mv/msg/70007/194831/66800/
http://www.orafaq.com/forum/mv/msg/67759/187332/66800/
Re: Contest: [message #197292 is a reply to message #197196] Tue, 10 October 2006 21:50 Go to previous messageGo to next message
rleishman
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Laughing
That second one is definitely a contender.
Re: Contest: [message #197670 is a reply to message #197292] Thu, 12 October 2006 04:43 Go to previous messageGo to next message
JRowbottom
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This one is a cracker. Vague, barely comprehensible and woolly as a field of sheep.

http://www.orafaq.com/forum/t/70836/86885/
Re: Contest: [message #197684 is a reply to message #197670] Thu, 12 October 2006 05:16 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Frank
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lol
Even though I didn't _completely_ understand the OP's requirements, I took the liberty of moving it to newbies..
Re: Contest: [message #197719 is a reply to message #197684] Thu, 12 October 2006 07:18 Go to previous messageGo to next message
rleishman
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Frank wrote on Thu, 12 October 2006 20:16

..., I took the liberty of moving it to newbies..


And broke JRs link in the process...../fa/1587/0/
Re: Contest: [message #197721 is a reply to message #197719] Thu, 12 October 2006 07:23 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Frank
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Argh. I even TESTED it after I wrote my previous post. It was still working after I moved it.
I think the broken link was cause, because somebody merged it into a new post.

[Updated on: Thu, 12 October 2006 07:24]

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Re: Contest: [message #197727 is a reply to message #197721] Thu, 12 October 2006 07:45 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Maaher
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Embarassed busted. Sorry Sad.

MHE
Re: Contest: [message #198391 is a reply to message #197727] Tue, 17 October 2006 00:38 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Frank
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Found a new contestant for the vaguest post. Now here's someone that can make his requirements clear!
Re: Contest: [message #199272 is a reply to message #198391] Mon, 23 October 2006 01:35 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Littlefoot
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Check this reply; Ross has an inspirational day today Smile
Re: Contest: [message #199275 is a reply to message #199272] Mon, 23 October 2006 02:14 Go to previous messageGo to next message
rleishman
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If littlefoot finds a smilie bashing his head against a wall, I'll add it back into that post. Wink
Re: Contest: [message #199282 is a reply to message #199275] Mon, 23 October 2006 03:22 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Littlefoot
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Your wish is my command http://www.orafaq.com/forum/fa/1620/0/
Re: Contest: [message #199293 is a reply to message #199272] Mon, 23 October 2006 04:40 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Frank
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Just came here to add this very same post.
Looks like junior kept you awake one night too many...
Razz
Re: Contest: [message #199386 is a reply to message #199282] Mon, 23 October 2006 21:10 Go to previous messageGo to next message
rleishman
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Littlefoot wrote on Mon, 23 October 2006 18:22
Your wish is my command http://www.orafaq.com/forum/fa/1620/0/

Well done.
Re: Contest: [message #199641 is a reply to message #199386] Wed, 25 October 2006 10:04 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Littlefoot
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Here is another one. History classes.
Re: Contest: [message #201464 is a reply to message #199641] Sat, 04 November 2006 09:54 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Frank
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A new possible #1 for the original contest: vague questions.
Re: Contest: [message #201495 is a reply to message #201464] Sat, 04 November 2006 19:47 Go to previous messageGo to next message
rleishman
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./fa/449/0/
Re: Contest: [message #205048 is a reply to message #196380] Thu, 23 November 2006 02:44 Go to previous messageGo to next message
JRowbottom
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This is pretty vague.

'What is rule of thumb for creating index'

Really - what am I meant to say?
Re: Contest: [message #207534 is a reply to message #205048] Tue, 05 December 2006 23:16 Go to previous messageGo to next message
ehegagoka
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hi!,
just found this part of the forum.

Quote:


Found a new contestant for the vaguest post. Now here's someone that can make his requirements clear!




sorry for that post =) i just had a hard time explaining it in just posting it, im not good in english really, and I really want to thank those people like sir JRowbottom, you sir Frank, sir djmartin, and all the others who gives their time in aswering other peoples "programming problems". Not all people are good at explaining especially explaining it thru a language they also dont know much, sometimes you really do ask/post questions that is quite hard for you to explain that it loooks like a "stupid question" for other people, even if you dont intend it to be that way. But really this forum have been of great help for me, I know that you just want others to start solving their problems and exert some effort first before asking for other peoples help. Thank you so much again sir/mam, hope you dont get tired asking those questions over & over again c",)


regards,
rhani

P.S. advance merry xmas =)
Re: Contest: [message #209131 is a reply to message #196380] Wed, 13 December 2006 07:50 Go to previous messageGo to next message
joy_division
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They just get better every day!

http://www.orafaq.com/forum/t/73897/66800/
Re: Contest: [message #209211 is a reply to message #209131] Wed, 13 December 2006 16:15 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Barbara Boehmer
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That last one was a first-time poster. I have learned that some people from other countries use the word doubts to mean questions. It is fairly common for a new poster to say that they have some questions and ask if anyone can help, then post the actual question after someone responds. I think it is better to welcome such a newbie to the forums and explain that they can just go ahead and post all questions directly, without asking if someone is willing to respond first. I think they are just trying to be polite or looking for a mentor, rather than not knowing how to phrase the question. I have seen this frequently on other forums.
Re: Contest: [message #209222 is a reply to message #209211] Wed, 13 December 2006 19:50 Go to previous messageGo to next message
rleishman
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Notwithstanding Barbara's very likely observations and deific tolerance levels, I think we have a new winner. Bonus points awarded for Cthulhu's response.

[Updated on: Wed, 13 December 2006 19:51]

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Re: Contest: [message #209260 is a reply to message #209222] Thu, 14 December 2006 00:27 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Frank
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I also agree with Barbara that we should go easy on new members. However, the stickies were not written for nothing.
It might be a good idea to ask Frank Naude to explicitly point people to the stickies in the Newbie forum when they confirm their registration...

*rushes of to the Suggestions forum..
Re: Contest: [message #209315 is a reply to message #209260] Thu, 14 December 2006 04:40 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Mahesh Rajendran
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I stand with Barbara.
As Frank kindly pointed, most of these folks are not only newbies to oracle/this forum, but are newbies to any web forum /web activities where international folks meet(other than chatting/IM areas). Hence are the weird questions/slang (lakh,SIR in every line,flattery)/rude attitude etc.
I still remember my first response in orafaq was worse the question itself Smile.
It takes a while to understand that a forum is not a place to hire a free nanny to readout out loud every line in manual. When pointed most will correct themselves some will never.
I sincerely think, if there are no newbies (of all sorts), there is no need for this forum. If the person is a newbie, how could he/she differentiate between a newbie question and expert question?
The regulars here know where to look and whom to ask Smile.
ALl we can do is point them to a right direction. And ofcourse some will never attempt to throw any effort and they need to be flagged.


Re: Contest: [message #209325 is a reply to message #209315] Thu, 14 December 2006 05:05 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Maaher
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Mahesh Rajendran wrote on Thu, 14 December 2006 11:40

I still remember my first response in orafaq was worse the question itself Smile.
Click

Could be worse: click Embarassed

MHE
Re: Contest: [message #209326 is a reply to message #209325] Thu, 14 December 2006 05:24 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Mahesh Rajendran
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The posting i was referring was not this. It was more worse Laughing
With the old interface (just html), many (several hundreds) of our postings were purged. I think it was flushed away now. I remember it as Todd Barry was kind enough to knock on my head and ask ' Hey what are 'ya thinking before you post this?'
And by that i am not claiming that i am posting any better nowadays. That would be conspiracy. Smile

[Updated on: Thu, 14 December 2006 10:48]

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Re: Contest: [message #209413 is a reply to message #209326] Thu, 14 December 2006 13:16 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Barbara Boehmer
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I remember my first post, which was also my first forum experience, and my first internet experience. It was on the old Oracle Education forums, that no longer exist, prior to the current OTN forums. Where I worked, we had just begun swtiching from FoxPro to Oracle and most of us had not even attended any Oracle classes yet, and were stumbling through what we could. Somebody showed me how to do 'select * from table_name;' and that was about all I knew yet. I found a link to some online Oracle educational videos, but could not get them to run, and was looking for help on how to run them. I found three posts about the videos on the Oracle Education forums, so I asked for help, cross-posting, on all three, not knowing that most people read all threads, and cross-posting was a bad idea, and there were no posted guidelines or stickies. I worked in a place where, at that time, all forms were required to be filled in with all capital letters, and all typed correspondence was required to be typed in all capital lettters. It was actual written in their department mauals that all capitals were required. So, out of habit, I naturally posted in all capitals, not having the slightest clue that was considered like shouting. So, my first post consisted of three cross-posts that hijacked other threads, in all capitals. I recall that somebody responded to one of them, but it didn't help any, and the others were ignored. A co-worker told me that Oracle had a reputation for good product, but bad service and that was an example. Neither he nor I had ever heard of Metalink and had no idea that the responses were posted by volunteers and not Oracle employees and that was not official support. Let us not all forget that we too were once newbies.
Re: Contest: [message #209417 is a reply to message #209413] Thu, 14 December 2006 13:38 Go to previous messageGo to previous message
Littlefoot
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I printed the Schindler's list.

It was one of my first days at work; I got the OpenVMS manuals and read through them, trying which command does what. One of them was the SUBMIT command (which submitted a job for batch processing). So I said
> SUBMIT (something, blabla)
and yes, it worked.

Several minutes later my boss came and asked: "Who's printing?". I had no idea; I only knew it wasn't me. So we both went to the printer room; our old Digital Line Printer LP27 already printed dozens of pages.

Huh, I should have read the whole SUBMIT topic, about all parameters, and all examples. Because, SUBMIT - by default - prints the whole log file to the printer.
We used my Schindler's list as shaders on windows during Summer ./fa/1587/0/
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